Moving Forward

I’m cleaning the office now. Slowly, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a deadline. The washer will be delivered on tuesday so it all has to be back in the office by then. But I think I’ll have the bulk of it done today. Cleaning the bookshelves and counters. Donating some of the books I will never read. Organizing the books I want to keep. Creating sacred space in my office once again. It feels really good. It will be a great place to work and create. Moving forward. I have plans. I have dreams. I have goals. I have a vision. I am moving in that direction. I am moving in the right direction. I am moving forward. I am moving. I am!

I am also unwinding tasks and obligations that no longer serve me. I cannot be all things to to all people and I get to choose. I can help when I can but I cannot take on other obligations. It will take me awhile to get over the resentment for the church not being there for me in my time of need yet still expecting me to be there for them. I know that is on me. 

I am taking September to step away. To fully immerse myself in me, my home, and my business. To find a new routine. To start again. To gain momentum. Then, when other things come along I won’t be so easily swayed. I can set firm boundaries. “Today, I have clients.” “Today, is my podcast.” “I’m working on my book today.” “Today is my day of rest.” 

I GET TO CHOOSE! I GET TO SAY YES. I GET TO SAY NO. I GET TO CHOOSE. I GET TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT, WHAT I WANT TO DO, what I believe, how I want to spend my time, who I want to spend my time with. 

Depleted. I am depleted. And to keep giving to anything that doesn’t feed my soul is depleting me even further. I HAVE to step away for a bit. I HAVE to feed my soul. I HAVE to take the time to heal. And at this point it could be September and it could take the rest of the year.